Looking at these photos from shooting today with Alan Rowlette while stuffing my face with alpro ice cream straight out of the tub is a bit surreal! Ugly duckling me is like “who is that?!?!” Had the best time shooting with Alan in Killruddery, we had a great time collaborating on research, scouting and styling the shoot and I’m so happy with the results!
What’s even more surreal than my ice cream eating habits is to look at these photos of myself and remember that I went to my first yoga classes asking “can I sit at the back? Is it dark in the room? Will anyone be looking at me?” I was so not myself at that time, I wore these horrible baggy (corduroy?) leggings and one of my dad’s thick jumpers. The only way I could get out of my head was to be in that class as anonymous as possible, lying in my back in the dark, with all the people who were recovering from hip operations and arthritis. I was so wound up, so freaked out, I couldn’t bare for my vulnerability to be seen. In my wildest dreams I would not have set foot in a Dublin yoga studio wearing a sports bra because I was so ashamed of this shell of a person I had become all of a sudden. And now here I am. That experience of yoga has made me the most compassionate teacher I am capable of being because I actually get it. I completely get it. And I know first hand how to get back to being the person you were before all that bullshit happened to you. That to me is more valuable than getting anyone into a handstand.
July 8, 2017